I just want to say how much I love you already. Everything I do, I do for you. Every moment of discomfort, pushing myself out of my comfort zone, going hard when it comes to every aspect of my life to become the man you dream of.
I’m sure you will be able to see the improvements just by looking at the pictures I attach here and compare them to years from now when I’m closer to meeting you. I want to become a being full of light. Someone who is healed of everything bad that happened to him, someone who moved beyond, who turned himself and his life into something so amazing that people can’t comprehend it. I want to look like I feel inside. Like I will feel inside. And I will make that happen for you. God will make it happen. He will restore me like he restored Job. Right now, there is still a long way to go, but like with everything else, I’ll get there.
Today, I went to church, of course. It’s Sunday. The pastor was political. Not something I think belongs in church. So I’ll find somewhere else to attend. Somewhere that is focused on God and not modern-day squabbles. I’ll go back to the town cathedral where I felt at home the one time I attended. That feels like a good sign. But what I didn’t gain in church today, I gained by working through things in my own head. Even if I strongly dislike my translation work, I cannot ever cut corners. My work has to be honest, always. That I will promise. I will never compromise, I will never do less than 100% ever again.
Also, I forgot to mention in the previous posts, but I’m doing a Jim Carrey from “Yes Man” experiment. I don’t ever say no to anything anybody asks me. I’m on day 37 of that. And it’s very freeing and exciting. I don’t have to think about anything because the answer is always yes. And it has led to me appearing on the front page of the local newspaper, in a podcast, and on live regional radio. I have met new people, had fun interactions, had the courage and strength to stand up for myself when needed. I am getting out of my shell and I’m doing it for you. I am going to be the confident, fun, adventurous husband you’ve always dreamed of. Strong in faith, strong in spirit. I promise you that.
Your future husband,
Mr. Ladegaard
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