I had another good day in Krakow. Though… I had a bit of a temper moment when somebody cut in line, and I told him to “go away” after having already called him out which was unnecessary. Not my finest moment, but line cutting is a thing that makes me so angry for some reason. It think it’s the injustice of it, but I know I have a temper when it comes to things like that and I need to solve it. I can’t be like this when I find you. It’s okay and good to stand up for oneself but not with anger. It must be with firm and calm energy. Kindness, not hate. A God bless you attitude even toward people I find annoying. I repented in prayer, asked for forgiveness and prayed for guidance in becoming a more patient and better person. I will work on it with God’s help to be the perfect husband for you. I am not usually an angry person and it’s been a year since I last had an outburst like this, well, not outburst, but talking to someone firmly with anger in my voice. Snapping. I don’t like the feeling, and it has to end here. It’s only with stupid things like cutting line though or other injustices in life. Not when it comes to other things, so it’s a little strange, but something I want to solve, even if I am not in any danger of ever getting angry at you. I have never gotten mad like that at someone close to me and it will never happen. I just don’t want you to see me like that with a stranger either.
Otherwise, it was a great day. I saw Auschwitz which was not a place for smiles because what those people went through was unimaginable, but the guide was great, I got to talk to a few of the other tourists, and it was just so interesting. I especially liked the story of Maximilian Kolbe, a Catholic who sacrificed his life to save another prisoner at Auschwitz. Heartbreaking but brave. I’d like to think I’d be a good Christian and do the same, but I don’t think so. That is just humanity at its finest among humanity at its worst. What a contrast.
Anyway, I went to light another candle for you at St. Mary’s Basilica. I wish you were here with me to experience all of this alongside me, but I also know that I am not who I need to be for you yet, so it’s also good that you aren’t. I will become that man though. I promise. Because I love you more than anything.
Your future husband,
Mr. Ladegaard
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